[the hug takes him by surprise, and it's enough to choke out a sob out of him as he tries to hug her back as best he can.]

I thought-- I really thought... [he can't explain himself properly, not right now, not in the state he's in, all he can do is grab at her and try to bring his breathing back to normal so he stops crying, fuck--] I kept messing up and I never wanted to make you feel worse, you have to believe me--! But someone would've fought back or done something if we hadn't and...

[yeah he can't even form a sentence anymore, too busy trying to stop his crying]