week 8, wednesday around midnight

[socloverit]

[Her twelve hours should be resetting soon, if it hasn't already—the robots kicked her out of her room during the evening when it was still Tuesday (they're probably sick of her refusing to leave until she's forced to, every single goddamn day even a week and a half later), and Clover had spent some time flitting here and there and away from the night owls until settling on the viewport, closing the doors behind her, and after she fiddles with the console for long enough, she locks them.

She's splayed herself over one of the couches, the side of her face pressed against he armrest so she can stare blearily out into space.

At some point, she'll get up and move to her room, but not yet.]

Comments

[thanatosincarnate]

{ Arumat's elected into looking for the pink-haired lady -- and he uses process of elimination to narrow down where she is. If anything due to what's happened he's less inclined to be hesitant even if he was never any good at broaching at emotional subjects.

He'll knock upon the viewport door once he notices it is locked. }

Clover.

{ He'll call out her name -- if it is her, then he'll find out... probably. }

[socloverit]

[It takes a minute for the viewport door to open—long enough that it might seem like no one's there at all. But she knows the voice and maybe she'd ignore him, but he's looking for her, so when the doors open, Clover's standing there, arms folded, looking tired as ever.]

Good guess.

[thanatosincarnate]

{ He won't smile when the door to the viewport was opened, but he's glad she does so anyway. }

We should talk. However briefly that may be.

{ He'll be taking the part of 'checking up on her' very much as he makes sure first her wounds look better now (granted they probably do since he made sure that they were re-dressed and re-bandaged last week, but). But that's not all, if that looks good enough, he'll speak again. }

The others have been treating you well, haven't they? And the status of your current state?

[socloverit]

[Arumat's eternal inability to make conversation like a normal person will always confuse her, but she doesn't mind. So she nods, stepping back into the room and walking back towards the console; she'll close the doors again once he's followed her in.

His first question gets a heavy shrug—for the most part, she's been ignoring the others.]

My wounds are getting better. [And they have, in fact, been healing well enough, but that's all she has to say about her current state. It's just a fancy way of asking how are you doing, isn't it, and that's still as stupid of a question as it was a week ago.]

[thanatosincarnate]

{ Normally that'd be a good enough of an answer for him, but he's allowed to take a few more social risks with his life potentially in jeopardy, he thinks.

Once... he figures out how to word things. Arumat is still also shit at being GENTLE, subtle and CAREFUL. But this time he doesn't care if he's bad at it. He has to at least try. }

Good.

{ An awkward silence hung between the both of them. He takes a deep breath. Here he goes... }

...Remember when you and him spoke to me as well as I presume others concerning the advent of "Selfies"?

[socloverit]

[While Arumat stands around being a social failure, after she's got the doors closed, she plops herself down onto a couch again, nestling into the corner of it. There's room for him to sit next to her, if he wants.

But she goes tense at his question, folding her arms tighter, curling further into the couch. It takes her a moment to nod.]

He...I mean, we both knew he didn't really have any reason to go along with it, right? But he knew it would cheer me up a little...

[thanatosincarnate]

Light was a good man-- he always knew what to do or say, it seems.

{ This is the first time Arumat's thought to say whatever comes to mind to try to cheer someone up and he even sits himself next to her. But it may fall to pieces as soon as he produces the photos from the Selfie Incident, containing all of them before the data could be deleted. }

I thought you were like to have these. If you have the memory of his image, it should help you to continue going strong -- not that you weren't doing so before, but I digress.

[socloverit]

[Hardly anyone has spoken so directly about her brother to her—everyone who's spoken to her tries so hard to avoid talking about Light, to ask about how she's doing and if she needs anything and dance around having to mention her brother by anything at all, much less name. She flinches when Arumat does, if only out of surprise, but her eyes go wide and her breath catches when he shows her the photos. She starts reaching for the papers, and immediately draws her hand back to cover her face as she bursts right into tears.

It's seeing him smiling, it's knowing these were taken days before he died and even with all her anxieties he'd put everything he had into eking out happiness for them—and he did, and she was happy in spite of everything else because she had him still, and days later he was gone.

She isn't strong. She'd thought about printing the pictures herself but knew she couldn't bear to see them, Light was her strength and her foundation and her everything and now she is nothing at all.

Nothing but sobbing hysterically, anyway. She is not strong enough to even be reminded of this, not strong enough to be happy like he wanted of her, and not strong enough to even start trying to swallow her weakness.]

[thanatosincarnate]

... Let it out as much as you wish.

{ He's not sure what else he can say in this sort of situation. He watches her cry some more, and maybe he's a shitty person for it, but he doesn't know if there ARE any right ways to react. Luckily he's not the touchy feely type either so he doesn't do hugs. All he does is set the photos nearby her and...watches.

He decides in that moment, there is something else he must discuss with her -- and then teach her. But he'll save it until she's done crying, and having her moment that she ... honestly really needs. }

[socloverit]

[Not that she was about to decide she needed permission to bawl her eyes out, but it's nice to have it. She doesn't want a hug, doesn't even want a reaction, just wants to cry until she can't anymore. It doesn't take long; she's spent so much of the past week and a half in tears that there are hardly any left in her, but in between choked and strangled sobs she manages—]

Thank you.

[She doesn't get it; Arumat is only ever kind to her, keeps going out of his way to give her things because of nothing at all—and he still can't figure out how to hold a conversation long enough for her to think she knows him at all. Maybe it goes both ways.]

Thank you...

[And she's so grateful. She's done nothing to earn all this and she's so, so grateful. She never could have forgiven herself if she lost the chance to print those pictures, even if she can't look at them right now.

It only takes a couple of minutes for her to devolve into slight sniffles, and when she wipes her eyes, new tears don't come to take their place.]

[thanatosincarnate]

{ Arumat knows how it feels to lose everything and have nothing left. This is why he tries to do something for her no one else here would do. She needs to have someone who is impersonal at one point and maybe if he could manage to up his people skills, that would graduate into him being able to have her talk about her feelings. }

It is no issue. Anything that needs to be done is something I'll gladly take upon my shoulders.

{ His voice is light, as gentle as it'll ever be (even his most gentle voice is harsh sounding but there is clearly an undercurrent that softens it). }

Our situation calls for us to be able to endure challenges to our mental state, and to push through to keep on living no matter what happens. Not to mention, to forge bonds with others so that might help. I may not be an expert in emotional matters, but to leave things as they are is unacceptable.

I also understand that I do not know you very well. I believe I may wish to change that.

I do not have many friends or people I consider close on this ship. Those I have mostly befriended wound up dead. To the few I know, I cannot even properly confide in them because I'm unaware of how.

Yet, I wonder if it may be possible if we could be friends. It may be a leap for me to inquire now, but nothing can come of shying away from matters, even now. You have taught me something important, even if you don't realize it -- and now I wish to do the same. Even if you do not accept my offer for friendship, I would still propose to start teaching you how to use the weapon I carry. That way, in the event I'm not able to use it myself, and its nearby your person, someone can at least put it to use.

What say you of these proposals?

[socloverit]

[She doesn't look at him when he speaks, but there's something shifting unreadably in her expression, and her hands fidget where they're folded in her lap, pulling the scrunchie on her wrist, winding her finger around her pink yarn wristband.

The only thing she has ever known for sure is that she can trust her brother. Even Junpei left her, even if it was the same with Alice she isn't here now, Frankenstein lied to her, her friends here have no idea what there is to do with her now—Light has always been all that she has. They've been through everything together, she's told him everything; there's no one she could ever rely on like she's always relied on him. And now she's alone, she's always going to be alone.

Light asked her to be happy, to move on as she always had. She knows it can't be done. He asked her to stay cautious, but to still find other anchors here, and this...

She looks up at Arumat, and Clover still doesn't have it in her to smile again, but there's softness in her expression, in her voice:]

I kinda figured we were already sorta friends.

[Even if that was the stuffiest declaration of friendship she has ever heard.]

...I'd like that a lot.

[thanatosincarnate]

{ Something in him makes him glad, that he could hear her say that. It was utterly ridiculous -- any of them could die at any time and he was in even more danger than her right now technically speaking. Yet, he wanted the chance to try to bond with someone one more time -- all that's happened is to convince him to move towards making ties with others here instead of going back on his lonesome. Maybe it's because, originally, he didn't plan on being a loner forever after what happened back in his own dimension. }

...Good. I'm glad to hear that.

{ He hated how happy he felt right now, but he didn't bother concealing the way his lips twitched upwards slightly. It seems even if Clover didn't have it in her to smile again, Arumat somehow had found the ability to do so again himself... even if it had been lost at one point. }

I'm sure you will be a quick learner as well. It is almost like wielding an axe in a way.

i just want you to know that i hate you

[socloverit]

[It's too hard for her to smile, but anything that gets her moving is a good sign; Clover's fidgeting as she speaks, shifting her weight where she sits, isn't quite so listless and drained by her misery. Though she's quiet, she twirls a lock of her hair around her finger when she speaks.]

Um, I don't really know how to wield an axe... That was, um. Luck, I guess. [And she folds her hands in her lap, staring down at them.] Adrenaline. [Instinct and fury and vengeance. She looks back up at Arumat.] Um, basic combat training. [The skill as it's listed on her profile card.] I can pretty much just...throw a punch. Kick someone off me. That kinda thing.

[thanatosincarnate]

You have some good luck, but it was not only that, not just adrenaline although that assisted. It was the beginning of a warrior's potential talent burning bright and awakening in the face of a true threat.

{ His tone sounds tinted around the edges of approval -- and that's because it is. Clover is talented in her own right and that should be something to be praised for indeed. }

At the very least I don't have to show you the basics in martial arts, since you've gotten that done. It's just honing them and showing you how to wield a bladed laser weapon.

[socloverit]

...Thanks.

[And she means it, even if she looks away again and sounds a little hesitant—she picks up on his approval and it genuinely means a lot to her, for someone she cares about to hold her skills in such high regard, but...she wishes she never had to find that potential, more than anything. She would rather have her brother still.

But she nods, turning towards him again.] When do we start?